Tuesday Sep 24, 2024

S1E9: Patriarchy, Femicide & The Bank

S1E9: Patriarchy, Femicide & The Bank

(Guatemala)

Summary

This episode of The Phoenix Rose Show podcast talks about heavy and mature topics, such as the patriarchy, violence, and crimes against women. The host shares her personal experience with being told she needed her husband's permission to open a bank account in Guatemala. She also shares statistics about femicide and violence against women in Guatemala and the US and discusses the need for change and improvement in this area.

In an analysis of the culture of Guatemala, it is described as a stringent and patriarchal society where traditional gender roles are strictly enforced and there is pressure to conform to societal expectations. This can lead to mental health issues and high suicide rates for both men and women. The US and other first world countries have made progress toward equality and egalitarian societies. A report by DW states that fewer than 3% of sexual offenders are caught and punished in Guatemala, contributing to a culture of impunity. The World Bank has recognized young and marginalized groups, such as indigenous women and LGBTQ+ individuals, are at high risk for facing discrimination and violence. Various initiatives and policies have been implemented by the government and civil society organizations, but there is still a lot of work to be done to address the root causes of these issues.

Transcription (ai transcription of show)

I was shocked when the bank manager told me I needed my husband's permission to open a bank account. Hi, I'm Phoenix Rose, and today we are talking about this. We're also taking a look at the patriarchy and the consequences of that. We are talking about crimes against women and violence. This is definitely an episode for mature audiences. Welcome to the Phoenix Rose Show.

Hi there. Welcome back. I am so glad that you are here. I'm so glad that I'm here. I'm happy to be doing this. I want to give a quick welcome to the, I don't know, 5 or 6 people who accidentally wandered in here, I think from social media. Thanks for stopping in. You. You did pick a doozy of an episode to start listening to. This one's a little bit heavy, a little bit dark, but I'm glad that you're here. Welcome. You know what? If you are one of the new listeners today, go ahead and drop your social in the comments or DM me and I'll check out your content and return the support. I think it's cool that you're here. Anyway, I'm Phoenix, but you probably already knew that, so let's get on with the show. So yeah, you heard correctly. I was told by the gerente the manager of the bank that I need my husband's permission to open a bank account, and that sounds like a joke, right? Like, I could say a priest, a rabbi and a horse walk into a bank. Like it sounds like a joke. I don't know, I can't even come up with a punchline. Let me see. I'll have holy water or kosher wine. I'm feeling a little hoarse free pens loan application. That's awesome. Hey. Yeah, I got nothing. Sounds like a setup, but there's no punch line there. And it's not like this was the 1950s or something. It was it this year here. And to make it even better, it's a bank we already have accounts with. I mean, not me they're in my husband's name, but still they should count as our accounts. We're married in the US. I get half of everything. Now, being a grown up and somewhat responsible adult that I am, I have been the proud owner of bank accounts in the United States. Checking and savings. Just saying. I know that sounds impressive. Not only that, but I have credit cards that I share with my spouse and they even have my name on them and I can even use them when he isn't with me. I know, crazy, right? But wait, there is more. I even have my own credit cards that are just mine. Just my name on them. I don't have to share them with anyone you know, in case I need to buy something pretty, right? back to the bank, though. Pardon? Pardon me. I need my husband's permission to do what now? Are you joking? Estás bromeando? My standard issue is. You know what? My Spanish isn't all that great. I must have misunderstood. But it wasn't a joke. It I didn't misunderstand. I was told that I could not open a bank account without either permission from my husband or a death notice. Oh, there it is. There's the punchline. It's a little too dark and not really that funny, though. I mean, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Now, they could have said, you know what? No, you aren't a resident yet. So therefore no. Or you don't have your electric bill. That's how you have to prove where you live. Because we don't have addresses here. Hell, they could have said, you know what you look like, my dear aunt Sally and I never really got along with her stupid reason, but whatever. At least it's a reason. But now you need to ask my husband if I'm allowed. What in the ever loving. You know what? No thank you. Good day. I will take my $28. I will take that $28 elsewhere. If I had been wearing a fur stole, I swear I would have swung it over my shoulder, flipped my hair, popped my nose in the air, and stood tall while I briskly walked out of the office. But honestly, without a stole or even a scarf, it just sort of looked stupid. So. I just did my best to look like a normal human being as I left the bank, but not even really knowing how to feel. Like frustrated. Angry. Embarrassed. Like, why does everything have to be so just ugh? All I need is a Guatemalan debit card. You know, again, for those pretty things. But this. This is a patriarchy where men control a disproportionately large scale or share a large share of social, economic, political, even religious power. In fact, they control almost all of it. This is society is set up by men for men like like the original Fubu. Men are privileged and women are oppressed. Men are leaders and women are homemakers. Men make decisions and women make babies. Men are in positions of authority and women are in positions. That's column. Let's call them domestic positions. But men control the resources and women control the children. The guys are in charge of things. The businesses, homes, farms almost exclusively owned by men. Government leadership positions. I mean, there's been. There's been a little bit of improvement there, but still. Yet it's the men. These guys are supposed to take charge, handle the money, be manly and macho, and in some circles drink lots of beer and sleep around, especially with much younger women. It's the culture. It's the the system. It's in the music, the arts, the government, everything. And I know, I mean, like, sure, who doesn't love a manly man? That's how the species has evolved, right? The survival of the fittest. In a world where only the strongest survive, a man needed to be aggressive and strong and dominant. Manly, at least if they wanted to compete for resources, attract and compete for a mate, reproduce with said mate, and then provide an protect for let me and the new smaller humans they made. That was the world in which they lived. And we wouldn't be here now without them. I don't want to get mad about that. That's. Maybe that's how they're hardwired to be. Even though it has been more than a minute since anyone has had to hunt a mastodon or outrun a saber tooth to survive. But yeah, the weak ones were killed off or just died. Here's the thing, though. With the patriarchal society now, it isn't just that the men are raised up. It's that the women are pushed down. Obviously not always, not a blanket statement. Don't come at me. But so frequently, the domestic abuse against women here is unbelievable. This is not. This is not in any way exclusive to Guatemala. But the abuse is usually by a domestic partner or a close family member. And it has become so awful. So terrible. The police, the investigators, the prosecutors can't even pretend to begin to be able to keep up with the allegations, the investigations, the criminal proceedings. They are so incredibly overwhelmed, in fact, that they have an entire special division specifically to prevent and investigate crimes against women. This special prosecutor for crimes against women is the name of a. Public and private dollars have been spent to put up billboards to tell people that they should not kill women. You heard me correctly. That's what I said. I am not being sarcastic. I'm not meaning to sound insensitive when I say this, but Jesus, doesn't that sound like one of those things that you shouldn't actually have to say in Guatemala is not the worst patriarchy. It's bad, but nowhere near the worst. Okay, these things could just be opinions. Hyperbole. How do you define what's worse? Let's. What is that expression like? Math doesn't lie or numbers don't lie. Let's take a look at a couple things here, just to try to keep the apples with the apples. Guatemala has a population of approximately 17 to 18 million people, depending on what source you use. No one really knows for sure, but one of the highest rates of femicide in the world. Just for reference, that population is somewhere between the populations of about Pennsylvania and New York. Size wise, the country is about 42,000mi². About the same as Tennessee. Let me share some more numbers with you. In 2021, there were 527 Femicides reported in Guatemala. According to world Bank 527, during that same year, there were 77 zero Femicides reported in Pennsylvania population, just a little bit less than that of Guatemala. And in New York, with a population with a little more than Guatemala, there were 146 reported. Now, if all of those numbers were one, of course that would be too many. But I'm just trying to include other areas just to help keep these numbers in perspective from an American perspective. New York approximately 4554 54,000mi². And what is this say? Pennsylvania is approximately 46,000mi². They're both bigger than Guatemala by the by the size as well. So let's look at the 2022 534 reported in Guatemala and 62 in Pennsylvania. But there's some good news. Crime numbers overall in Guatemala and the US approved in 2022. I know they sound unbelievable. The information that I have for 2023 is incomplete, but does show a little bit above a positive trend, as in a reduction in the numbers of murders of women, at least for the first half of the year, and in particular, a reduction in the number of incidents in urban and very urban areas. In the first half of 2023. There were air quotes here, only 179 homicides of women reported. That's according to Info Segura. In 2021, there were over 20,000 complaints of violence against women. Including nearly 3000 rapes reported and who even knows what isn't reported? These numbers are unbelievable. 3000 20,527. And each of these numbers is a person, a person, a mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend, grandmother, aunt, a person. And to be quite honest, when I hear numbers like that, I can't even imagine that many people. What does 3000 people even look like? What does 20,000 people look like? I can't picture that many people. Let's continue though. According to a report by DW and I'm going to quote this, I'm quoting fewer than 3% of sexual offenders end up behind bars, contributing to a culture of impunity. End quote. 80% 312 3%. Unfucking believable. World Bank lifts high risk groups facing, quote, multiple and intersecting forms of discrimination, including young and adolescent girls, indigenous women, girls and teens who have become pregnant, early marriages, women and girls living with disabilities, and LGBTQ+ groups. That is a huge number of people. They go on to say that various initiatives and policies have been implemented by the government and civil society organizations in order to address violence and discrimination against women and girls in Guatemala. But there's still a lot of work left to do to, quote, address the root causes of these issues and ensure the safety and well-being of all women and girls in the country. That, again, was from rogue Bank. Part of those initiatives are that groups are taking measures to educate girls and women. Now, I was invited to speak at a community meeting in a village with a translator, of course, sort of a celebrity gringa, just for being American. And there. Not because of anything especially noteworthy that I had accomplished in this area, but this meeting was specifically for women, and I was asked to speak to a younger group of pre-teens and teens. Give them, give them life advice, dating advice. And I was certain that there had been a translation issue because, wow, do you have the wrong person to be giving that kind of advice? And they came back to me and said, no, we know this is a very vulnerable group here, and we want them to know that they could have a future like American women do. We want them to know that they could have options. They'll listen to you because you are American. Oh, well, now I see it makes sense. Clearly, you've already asked everyone else to, you know, and still have us that you need filled. Yeah. I'm American and also twice stage of some of these girls and I speak another language and I have done everything the hard way, the wrong way. Made just about every dangerous and stupid decision I could have possibly made in my life. I had to figure it out on my own and figure it out the hard way. And how do I even know what their options are? But what do you say out loud? I mean, so of course I graciously accepted. Honored to have been asked and hoping to not screw it up. I had about a week to prepare. I talked to a local friend about the panel and tried to get context. You know, what were they really asking for so I could try to prepare something intelligent and hopefully relatable and fill the time they gave me. I mean, it all made sense, but it also kind of felt like trying to start a revolution. But from the outside, they wanted another face, another voice trying to help keep these women from just accepting the violence in their lives. Okay, I got it. I'm ready. I want these girls to know that they are. You know they are the future. You. You are the light that will guide Guatemala to a brighter future. That your path is unique and your potential is limitless. Your education is your key to unlocking endless possibilities. You need to stay in school. Do whatever you can to stay in school. Finish your classes and make the most of every opportunity you are given. Education empowers you to make informed decisions so that you can build the life you envision, and to pursue your passions with confidence. Your worth is not defined by the attention of boys or the promises they make. You are valuable beyond measure and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Choose relationships that uplift and support you, not ones that bring you down. If someone mistreats you now, it will only get worse over time. Listen to these words. If someone mistreats you now, it will only get worse over time. Violence in any form is never acceptable. No one has the right to hit, intimidate, threaten or violate you. Your safety and well-being are paramount. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are being mistreated. Know that you have the right to seek help and support. Stay true to your dreams and make choices that honor your heart. Whether you dream of being a nurturing mother, a successful businesswoman, or a trailblazer in any field, that choice is yours to make. You have your own mind, your own goals, values of faith. You must protect them from negative influences. You have to believe in yourself, for you are capable of achieving greatness. You. Her journey will be challenging, but it will be filled with opportunities to grow and learn and shine. With all my heart, I encourage you to pursue your dreams. Seek respect and partnership in your relationship. If relationship is what you want. After the salmon return. Dan tol, stay strong and never forget your worth. Because you are the light that will guide the world to a brighter future. In these curlies, they need to know that they need to believe that. And I know it isn't just these girls. So many girls. I don't know who else needs to hear that today. But that message is for you. My situation is a little bit different, a little bit unique because I am an American in Guatemala and not in the city of Guatemala. The city of Guatemala is like a completely different world. There is modern technology and industry, and there are women who are doctors and lawyers and have access to so much more in the city. It's so much more modern. And there are career women and women who are driving and owning things, and it's just more, more accepted. In the rural and very rural areas of Guatemala. It is a completely different world. Now, I'm not saying women can't to drive. I'm not making any comments about women driving or not, but women. There are way more, way, way more male drivers than female drivers. Women only started driving here in any significant numbers in the 90s. That's a story for another day. The big thing for me, they can tell me whatever they want to because I am not a resident of this country. But for what about for a Guatemalan woman? What are their rules? Are they supposed to have their husbands permission open bank account? Well it depends. There is not a law that says anything about preventing women from opening bank accounts. However, a bank can make their own rules and they can be inconsistent with the enforcement of those rules. Even though there isn't a law that says women can't open a bank account without a man. There isn't one that specifically says she can. And the banks can say whether she can or can't. And they don't have to be consistent. And depending on the situation. And that same person can go to five different banks and get five different answers. In fact, you can go to two different branches of the same bank on the same day and get two different answers. It's just bizarre. And because I'm the way I am, I had to find out what the history was in the US on women in banking. It wasn't until the 70s that women specifically had the right to to bank without their husbands signatures. This equal credit opportunity Act. The 70s. Back to Guatemala, though. Women owning land. What about owning things that land women are legally allowed to. Here's what the law says. Quote, access and own land. I'm not sure why it's worded that way. But men, the men who control the land, they control the land. They're not giving it up. Indigenous women owned even less land than the Latino women, which is most of the rest of the Guatemalan people. As part of a study, they found that families headed by solely women think, you know, single moms were particularly susceptible to poverty. No surprise there. And even more in indigenous communities. Again, no surprise. How about business? Women are legally allowed to own businesses. There are female owned businesses, not as many and not as many informal in the formal employment numbers. That's also a Guatemalan thing. I just saw something like two days ago on the news, saying that over half of the country is is outside of the formal employment market. So by that, they're seeing over half of the country is basically off of the government books. They are doing cash jobs, like maybe housekeepers, um, working in a restaurant for cash. They're not getting a paycheck. And the female owned businesses in the they're in traditionally female businesses. Interestingly female fields cooking cleaning hairstylists. And again this is a world outside of Guatemala City. These are the rural areas. But these women, even if they are getting jobs, they are opening businesses. They are certainly not breaking out of gender stereotypes. It's much harder for them to access capital. And you can imagine how much fun it can be to work with some of the banks and other lenders. What about the guys? I know to some it's going to sound like I'm just here to attack men and dismantle the system and burn my bra. I mean, hardly considering the cost of a quality bra, but our men just loving their life of privilege and perfection. Some of them, no doubt. All of them. No way. There are a lot of things that make life more difficult for men in these patriarchal societies. And rules, rules that they have to follow. Now, some of it is causation, some of it is correlation. But it all goes together, right? Don't show emotions, don't show vulnerability. You got to be tough and strong and all of these other types of gender stereotypes, but they're expected to conform to traditional male and masculine roles. Be the breadwinner. Don't let people see you enjoying time with your kids, your family. Do you really think that there aren't guys who would love to spend the day taking care of kids at home while their wife goes to work, and wives who would love that arrangement as well? But you can't. It is not tolerated here. A man who wants to so design clothing. Awesome men can be creative. Why couldn't they here? Um, if you are a man and you're caught near a sewing machine, you will be absolutely shredded. Because that is women's work. That is something. No, you can imagine the the words that they come up with for things like that. You know when they have to deal with the stress, this fierce dissatisfaction with job, life, personal professional choices, their choices and freedoms are limited by a patriarchal society too. Now it's all relative, right? This is absolutely not the same way that women are affected by the patriarchal society. I just want to point out that it isn't, you know, sunshine and unicorn and, you know, lollipops for all of the men either. There's so much stigma around mental stepping outside of what's expected for them. Do you know, men in patriarchal societies have higher suicide rates? And what are some of the most patriarchal countries? Um, Yemen, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Iran? See Somalia, Syria, Sudan. You do not have to know much at all about world affairs to know that there are some serious issues in those countries. Definitely worse than what I'm even addressing here today, right? But is any system that contributes to the murder of women or the suicide of men? Who is that benefiting? Guatemala is definitely a patriarchy. And I think most people who are being honest with themselves would argue that the US still is as well. Where do you come down on that? What about countries like the UK, Germany, Australia, Japan? Fruits? Have any of these first world countries, even though there has been definitely progress toward equality? Have they really moved beyond patriarchy? And there's so much more to this political, economic, historical factors. Is there is there an upside to it? Will we ever be able to move past this? I don't, I don't know. There are a lot of things here that I imagine are kind of like living in a twisted version of the 40s and 50s in the US, the technology, lifestyles, perspectives, and this patriarchy. No, I didn't experience that firsthand. So I don't know. Was a man's manly reputation this important? If you're a woman, married to a man, was every single thing that you did or said somehow a reflection on your husband and almost forgive me for using this, this language, but it's almost like how well you were trained. It's only for the women. The husband in that situation is never expected to answer to that woman. Now, we have been through a lot of different things since moving here, and I am absolutely expected to behave certain ways in public. Can we use that when my leg is 24 seven? No. Who do I live in? The twisted 50s sometimes. Yes, absolutely. In my home, it's different. So beyond the. Beyond my issues with the bank and. The and the the industry, economy, all of those things. Just at the most basic level. You've heard the phrase is some sort of version of the phrase, telling someone they're ugly doesn't make you prettier, or tearing others down won't build you up, or hurting others will heal your wounds. There are so many different ways of seeing that same expressing that same idea. And, you know, sometimes. Absolutely. I do joke around and say silly things, but today has definitely been a more serious day. No matter what the situation is, I don't think that any one group, any, any gender, race, religion should have to be put down for any other group to be raised up. And I know some people will be like, well, you know, your entire entire episode was about how awful men are. No, no, not at all. Then you weren't listening? Nope. Any criticism that I have is for a system that is inherently unfair, corrupt, dishonest for people who are harming or killing others. Especially especially people who are already more vulnerable. For people who act more like wild animals than human beings with souls and a conscience, the people who intentionally cause pain and suffering for others, the people who rob their victims of their innocence, their future, their faith in humanity, their home, their country, the people who, when they could have just as easily helped their neighbor up, push them down instead. I don't think those people cannot be put into any one category like gender, race, religion. My point is. Men don't have to be pushed down to raise up women. Women don't have to be pushed down to raise up men. Stronger men and stronger women working together make stronger families, stronger societies, stronger futures. And I know I'm excluding a lot of people just talking about traditional male female relationships. You know what, though? That's really all that's tolerated here, like those other patriarchal countries that I listed. Anything that deviates from the traditional one man, one woman union is not tolerated. I hope that that especially with all of this access to information and social media, globalization, everything going on. I really hope that we are teaching people, our kids, our daughters to expect more, to demand better. And that's less than that. It's just not going to be accepted, not going to be tolerated. I know for a fact some people are doing that. Some people are already on top of that and making sure that their kids have that message. And I am so proud of the people making those changes of the people who are demanding better, the people who are making sure that that the next generation is better informed, better educated. That is absolutely amazing. Is please be aware you do not do not accept violence and intimidation in your life. Reach out to someone somewhere. It only. It only gets worse later. And you? You are more. You are better. And you know what? I don't care if you're man, woman or something. Violence happens against everyone, unfortunately, and it's absolutely okay to reach out and ask for help. And I encourage you to do that. You guys, I thank you for being here today. I know this was longer than usual and more serious than usual, but thank you so much for being here. If you have questions about this episode about life in Guatemala, please reach out. You can you can message from whatever podcast app you're listening on. You can email me. Phoenix at the Phoenix Rose show. If you have an experience that you want to share, reach out. Share that with me. Thank you in advance for doing all of those magic social media things so that I can blow up and be awesome and help more people. Seriously, thanks guys for being here. Join me next time and have a great day. Have a super fantastic day. Make good choices.

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